Anal play!

Well, what can we say about anal play?

Have you thought about it, and played with the idea, but not sure how to approach it, and wondered what it would be like to go through the back door? Well, you are not on your own, and maybe it is one of those things that’s on your sexual bucket list.

Beginners guide to anal:

Before attempting to go straight for the back door, you need to sit down with your partner, talk first, and both agree to the idea. If your partner isn’t willing, then don’t pressure them, as not everyone is willing. You need to both be on the same page. If you are both up for trying it, then perfect! This is something you can’t rush into, as with first-time anal sex you have to go very slowly and use plenty of lubrication, as the anus unlike the vagina, doesn’t lube itself.

Start off using slight gentle pressure around the outside, using a finger or a very small anal plug. Then go in with 2 fingers and maybe a larger toy, and if your partner seems comfortable, you can enter with your penis. Take into consideration that the anus is much tighter than the vagina, so it may take you slightly longer to get you there. This isn’t always the case though as everyone varies in size. Some may slide right in, others may need to go slow and use different penetration techniques. People have this idea that small in and out movements are the way to get going, but it’s best to enter the penis slightly, then hold it there for around 10 seconds, then push a little deeper and relax. This lets the sphincter get used to it and start to open up wider. Communication is key here. You do need to make sure your partner is completely comfortable, and what you are doing feels good.

What positions should you try as a beginner?

There are lots of great positions for anal sex. Receiving partners generally prefer being bent over, on their stomachs, or all fours. This depends on their flexibility and comfort.

Will there be a “code brown” situation??

Yes… shit happens, literally! Sometimes in anal play, it can get a little messy, but you just have to be prepared that it is a possibility. As long as your partner has had a slight clear-out recently in the back end, or isn’t feeling a little under the weather in that area, the chances are pretty slim that it will get slightly messy. If it does, then make sure you are prepared, have some tissue on hand, and don’t make a big deal out of it, as it can be a little embarrassing for your partner.

Anal sex for the more advanced:

So if you have mastered the basics of anal sex, then it’s time to raise your game, but make sure you always get consent from your partner first.

Try new positions:

If you’ve always had anal sex with your partner on their knees, then try switching it up a bit. There is one position known as “The Matterhorn”. This is where the receiving partner is kneeling and leaning on a stack of pillows or pieces of furniture at a 45-degree angle.

Get creative and involve sex toys.

If the receiving partner has a vagina, you can always add a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris to add more pleasure to the experience. Or even use it for double penetration as there are 2 holes that can be played with at the same time. Double the pleasure, double the orgasm.

What is Analingus?

Analingus is different from anal sex. It’s not for everyone, and you do have to think about the hygiene side of things. Analingus or rimming is a sex act that’s becoming quite common these days, not just in the gay community. If you have an anus and want it to be touched, then why not let your partner do it. There are a lot of nerves in that area and It’s extremely sensitive and can feel amazing when touched and played with. It’s a sexual pleasure that anyone can perform, but like all sex acts come with certain risks. It involves sucking, licking, kissing, and any pleasurable act that involves oral-to-anal contact. Just make sure yet again that there is consent on both sides before doing it.

Is analingus safe?

Yes, it’s pretty safe, but like all sex acts, there are risks. Cleanliness is extremely important because any bacteria picked up by the giver could lead to a “code brown situation” and nobody wants that.  Bacteria like e. coli and Salmonella are among the possibilities and bacteria from the anus can also cause vaginal infections. Avoid spreading bacteria with your tongue, fingers, penis, or sex toys, even at the height of it all.

Approaching this with your partner:

Let’s be realistic, this isn’t the first place you put your tongue in a sex act with your partner, so communication and consent are key! It’s totally up to you, but some may prefer a hair-free zone, so consider getting the cream, wax, or clippers out just before the act. Less hair means more sensation. Also, you don’t have to, but it might be a good idea to have a mild enema flush. Just to make sure that everything is fresh, clean, and good to go down below.