Getting your sex life back on track:
Relationships although amazing, can be a lot of hard work. Both men and women think differently. Our needs are different and we both get turned on in very different ways. Maintaining a healthy sex life with your partner can help reduce stress levels and keep you on a happy level through your day to day life. Its important to maintain a healthy and active sex life with your partner, but unfortunately in a long term relationship sometimes things can become a little stagnent when it comes to the boudoir. It might be hormonal, stress-related or just the simple fact you have been together for a long while and other things have taken priority, like kids and work. This doesn’t mean that you are not still attracted to your partner, and can easily be put back on track, if you are both willing. Spicing things up and doing new things sexually could be exactly what you need.
Why you need to reignite your sex life:
Sometimes having more sex, or better sex in a relationship can be more fulfilling, satisfying and can be the key to a longer lasting and much happier relationship. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it does play a big part if you want to keep that close bond with your partner. Some people say any sex is good sex, but sometimes its nice to crack things up a notch to gain a more satisfying sex life. The good news is you don’t need to perform acrobatics or have great stamina to do so.
First things first:
You need to be open and be able to communicate with your partner about your sex life. This is important and key in any relationship. Always make sure that when you want to bring up the discussion of sex you are in a relaxed enviroment. Maybe when cuddled up on the sofa, or laying in bed together, as this way the conversation will feel less pressured, and no one feels on trial. When starting off a conversation ease into it gently, maybe start off with saying “Do you think it would be fun using handcuffs or blindfolds?” Then maybe ask what they think might be fun to do in the bedroom. Its important to both agree on what you both would like to do together, and what you both fantasize about. Maybe try somewhere new outside of the bedroom, role playing or even incorporate some sex toys. Trying new things can help reboost your sex life. Sometimes its easier said than done to try and add some “Oooo’s and Ahhhh’s” into your daily routine, but nothings impossible.
The reasons why its important:
Your excitement to have sex declines. Over a period of time even the best sex can become quite routine. You both may start feeling less excited about sex and about the things that turn you on .
Your having less sex than before. Its far from uncommon for sex to become less and less in a relationship, especially when you and your partner are often busy and other things in life have taken priority, where sex becomes pretty much the last thing on your mind.
Your relationship satisfaction is declining. The more sex you have with your partner, the closer you feel with your partner. It is key to a happy longer lasting relationship.
Your’e not having sex at all. A surprising amount of relationships involve just having sex on the odd ocasion or no sex at all.
If you are having sex less frequent or less enjoyable sex, then you start to think on how things can be made better. Sex can be a quite complicated conversation to bring up an many find it quite hard to be open about sex with their partner. Its common in relationships to start feeling less attractive to their partner if the sex is becoming less, especially when one of you tries to iniciate sex and the other gets rejected. Lack of sex doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you, or is a judgment on you or your skills in any way. Sometimes partners can get to the point where they just don’t see each other in a sexual way. Intimacy has just been disregarded, including kissing, cuddling or even holding hands. This is where you need to start focusing on communication and connecting with each other again. All healthy relationships take time and energy. You have to make the effort, and once communication is back on track, then you can reignite that sexual spark.
How to get started:
A chemical reaction in your body causes butterflies when you first start dating, and you need to recreate things by doing something new. Find something fun that you both will get excited about. Find a new restaurant, and start reminising about things that you did at the beginning when you first met, including sexually.
Hug and kiss:
At the beginning of a relationship couples will tend to kiss and cuddle a lot. This is something that you must try to rekindle as it is an important part of any healthy relationship, and helps keep that close connection.
Make a list of sexual possiblities:
Communication is key. Try to be open with each other about your sexual preferences, things you would like to try, sexual fantasies. Be open to suggestions and trying new things. Write down a list together and see what you would both would be willing to try. No matter how long you have been together, try and keep that eroctic connection fresh and exciting. You need to break that predictable pattern and create new desires. Maybe watch a sexy movie together, think about the past and what got you in the mood and sexually excited. Maybe put on the outfit they used to like, show some skin, be flirty, some gentle touches in sensitive zones. These can always ignite some sparks. It doesn’t have to lead to sex straight away, as sometimes this can take time, and there are other things that can be done.
Masturbating, even when in a relationship, is normally a solo activity. Its personal and intimate and most feel more comfortable doing it alone. However doing this with your partner can be really hot and exciting on both sides. Mutual masturbation is pretty much the same as doing it solo, but opens up opportunities and can be much more fun. You can either watch each other, help each other or even add in some sex toys.
The bottom line:
Sometimes the way to put the sexual spark back into the relationship isn’t with actual sex. Often sex can be about something else. Exploring sex outside of penetration can help you and your partner rediscover a whole new world sexually, and get to know each other on a deeper level. Sex is not the be all and end all, but it does play a huge part in any healthy relationship. If you do find yourself in sexual rutt and are at a loss of what to do, then you can get in contact with a sex therapist to have couples therapy sessions. They can help you learn to reconnect and get your sex life back on track with your partner.